The Waiting Game

Waiting.

That’s been my life for over 2 1/2 years now.

First was waiting each month to POAS only to get BFN after BFN.

Next we moved onto OPKs. Waiting for a +ive, followed by more waiting to POAS and BFNs.

Then we added in temp taking. Then Clomid, then Clomid with IUI, then injectables with IUI.

Finally onto IVF and all the waiting that entails.

And now more waiting. Waiting to see how many frosties we get, if any. Waiting to test.

For someone so type A, who always wants to know what is happening when, this has been torture.

When will my waiting be over? Will I ever hold a newborn of my own in my arms again?

4 years ago, as a new mother, I couldn’t wait for my LO to grow. To learn to roll, crawl, walk, and talk. I wish I could go back in time and whisper in my younger self’s ear to show down and take it all in. To treasure each snuggle a little longer. I didn’t appreciate just how truly miraculous my LO is. 

In some ways my relationship with my LO is all the more special now. All that waiting has helped us bond and grow closer. I appreciate every milestone even more now than I did when he was younger…when I took this baby thing for granted.

And so I wait. To hear from the lab about any frosties. To hear if this all worked…

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