Cramps and Fears

So after feeling really good and being worried about that, on Fri evening I had wicked horrible left sided cramping. Sat morning the tip of my prog applicator had some pink on it.. and then all morning I had little bits of brown spotting. Could that have been implantation? 5-6 days post ET…

Debating taking a test Mon morning. I figure that’s 2 days after when I *think* implantation may have occurred and enough time for HCG to build up. Terrified it’ll be a BFN though.

I’m so scared this didn’t work b/c this really is the last step and if this didn’t work I may never get to be pregnant again… We will def try a FET or 2 since we have 3 frosties, but I don’t know if I can handle another fresh cycle – both financially and emotionally.

Infertility is so draining. Constantly having renewed hope with the start of each cycle, only to be crushed time and time again.

I look at the pics of my embry-babies multiple times a day. I have so many hopes and dreams for them already. They are so real to me.

In past IUI cycles I never knew if nothing fertilized or nothing implanted. Now I KNOW they fertilized. They already are little beings. Little tiny life forms. I will be just crushed if this didn’t work. I know I shouldn’t be so attached already, but I can’t help it…

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