Anxiety and Fear

“Try not to be anxious, don’t worry, just take it easy. ” Words I keep saying to myself. Words Mr. Right keeps saying to me.

There are so many “what ifs” with a FET cycle, like all ART cycles. What if my lining doesn’t get thick enough at the right time? What if my embryos don’t thaw properly? What if thy just don’t stick?

In some ways I’m more confident going into this upcoming transfer since it worked with our fresh cycle. There embryos are from the same batch – a successful batch. These embryos made it to to become good quality day 6 blasts.

But at the same time I have fears. Fears of them not thawing properly, fears that me being 2 years older will affect their “stickiness”. Fears that a FET simply won’t work for me. Fears that I simply don’t have it in me to do another fresh cycle.

Will this be the end of the line for is once these embryos are used up?

I want more children so badly, but I know what a fresh cycle took out of me last time and I’m not sure I can do it again. I yearn to be a mother of more, but I also need to be the mother I want to be for the 2 I have.

I’m trying not to think about this more. Hoping and praying that this FET works and it never comes down to doing another fresh cycle… or not.

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